People ask me from time to time if my novels ever contain real people from my life.  The answer to that is YES.  If I know you, like you, hate you, am in any way affected by you… you’ll end up in a novel.

I hope this doesn’t bother any of you!  I certainly don’t name names or even leave situations the same.  But when I meet someone who strikes me as interesting, their personality ends up bleeding out into a character.

It’s not really so strange.  For example.  I recently made a great friend.  We’re both married, have kids, and have writing careers.  We have a lot in common!  But she is, ironically enough, my polar opposite.  She can’t stand being at home for too long, while I am such a home body it’s hard to pry my out.  She is a recreational boxer (you know, the kind with gloves who throws punches) and I…  well, I’m a wimp.  If anyone punched me in the head or otherwise, I’d just cry.  She’s very stylish, and she’s helped me pick out a few great finds on shopping trips.  She intrigues me!  What makes my friend tick?  Well, she hasn’t appeared in a novel yet, since I haven’t known her long enough, but chances are, she’ll pop up somewhere in a different time and a different place.

I work out my anger and frustration in novel-writing.  If there is some issue or other I’m working through, chances are it’s going to be an issue that a major character is working through as well.  Novels are personal.  If they weren’t, I doubt that anyone would read them.

That said, I write fiction.  I write fiction for a reason. I love making stuff up!  I love spinning tales and “gossiping.”  I love getting into someone else’s shoes and wondering “what if.”  I think in any other framework, this would be a character flaw, but as a novelist, it’s pretty much how a story comes to life.

You have a leg up on me, though.  I might see someone and wonder about their life and spin a tale around them, but no one knows who they are!  You, on the other hand, can read my books and wonder what parts are disastrously close to my own life, and you know exactly who I am!  So I figure we’re even.

Be gentle with me, and I’ll be gentle with you.  Deal?

For nearly five years, my home has been TV-free.  Think of that what you will.  We were not religious nuts afraid of the evil embedded in the context of the shows.  We were not free spirits who preferred to sculpt and make pottery.  We were simply entirely unable to control our TV watching.  So when we moved, we gave our set away and never looked back.

Well, not exactly never.  We looked back this week. And then we trotted out to Future Shop and bought a 42″ wonder.

To be honest, I’m not entirely sure how I feel about this yet.  The cable is not hooked up yet, so the TV is this huge, black thing sitting in my living room.  We’ve already decided that we need one of those boxes that records shows so that we have shows for our son waiting for him when we need to distract him for a little while.  And we’re swearing up and down that we won’t take it too far. Just a little TV now and then.  We can stop any time we like…

I’ve never been one to denounce TV as the one-eyed demon or to preach that others shouldn’t watch it because I take it too far.  This time, I’m hoping that we can keep it in balance.  Professionally, I NEED to keep it in balance, or I’ll never any work done!   On the parenting front, it’s equally important, as I don’t my son in front of the TV all day watching activities that he could be actually doing. In my marriage, well, there is something to be said for having nothing else to do than talk and interact with each other…  Having nothing better to do than to take a walk has been the kindling for more than one romantic evening!

However, we are joining the ranks of “regular” Canadians.  We are going to watch some TV.  Wish us luck.

Freelance writing on a tight deadline is quite fun!  I do enjoy it, however, my toddler is less than enthused about the process.  I just finished a two week project where I wrote 51 scripts for a children’s music television show.  It was huge! I was writing from 5 am till 10 pm daily.  Straight.  For the record, I finished them all in twelve days.  I’m not saying that I’d take on something quite so huge again in that short of a time span, but it was a great experience.

Poor Jr.  He didn’t like having me so busy. I would stick him in front of one of his movies, and then I’d get to work.  Sometimes he’d cuddle up on my lap and go to sleep while I typed one-handed.  Other times, he’d throw fits to get my attention.  I don’t blame him!  He needed some attention, and mommy was writing script like a madwoman.

Whenever I finish a huge project that keeps me ridiculously busy, I find it hard to relax.  I keep thinking that I need to keep equally busy on another writing project, despite the fact that my brain is fried and my toddler is needing some quality mommy time.   It’s a frustrating “coming down” phase, but once I get over it, slowing down is a pleasure.

So I have spent the weekend giving my family the love they deserve.  Valentine’s day was good timing!  I have other projects lined up (always) but I’m liking the slower pace.

There is time for tickles and cuddles, animal sounds and alphabets.  I love being a mom! Soon enough he’ll be in school and I’ll have six hours of uninterrupted writing time a day.  I’m going to have a good cry when that happens!  No matter how busy I stay with writing and parenting, no matter how sleep deprived I am, I’m loving this stage.  There is nothing like a spontaneous toddler kiss to remind you what’s important.

There it is!  The first 20 squares, in all their beauty.

The picture makes it look like I get regular fan mail.  I do not. I have gotten precisely three.  When you write for the adult market, the only people who feel compelled to comment in writing are the ones who are complaining.  There was the anonymous “fan” who send me racist comments about the fact that I as a White Canadian married a Black African and said that since I had done this “terrible thing,” I had no right to call myself Adventist.  That was my first fan mail ever.  It kind of shook me.

Then I got my second piece of fan mail: a letter from a gentleman who had not read my work, but had seen an ad for it.  Upon seeing the ad, he felt compelled to write to me and correct me for mistakes he imagined I must have made.  Like I said, frustrating.

However, I just got the sweetest little note from two girls who read my Hyacinth book.  They called me “Mrs. Ntihemuka” and said “we relly like it very much.”  I melted!  What a great surprise to receive a note in my mailbox from kids who liked my book!

For the record, I have heard from other people who enjoyed my books for grownups, just not with a postage stamp.  I love to hear from people who connected with my characters, because those characters are a large part of me.  And who doesn’t like a pat on the back now and again?  But more than that, I feel like I connected with my reader, and that’s a great feeling!

But THIS week, I’m tickled pink from a note from two little girls. :)  They liked me!  They “relly” liked me!

PS.  Kid spelling mistakes are just too endearing.

This morning, I was trying to get Jr out of the house for a possible Sabbath School outing.  If Sabbath School made one of us feel cranky, we would go to the library.  Regardless, there would have been a very nice outing if Jr had not waged the Battle of the Boots.

These tantrums are going to have to stop.  I realized this morning that we need to change tactics.  I have all sorts of outings planned for Jr every week, except that getting him to the outing is impossible!  If you manage to get his boots on, he’ll rebel against the stroller.  If you try to get him to walk, he’ll throw himself on the ground.  This is not productive, and it tends to grate on my very last nerve.

So today, after Jr waged a solid battle (that left me physically sore), his father and I decided that things are going to have to change.  Simply not giving in to him is no longer working now that he’s getting strong enough to land a few solid blows.   While we don’t believe in inflicting any blows in return, there is going to have to be some discipline that he understands as discipline!

So our next attempt is going to be the Time Out.  When he doesn’t obey, he’s going to be put in his toddler-proofed bedroom for a Time Out.  When he throws a fit, Time Out.  When he tries to maul the doggie and won’t listen to his mother tell him to stop, Time Out.

I’m hopeful that this might bring some peace back to our home.  I’ll keep you posted!  And any ideas you might have on the subject, are always welcome!

I’m getting all crafty…  It’s part of my creative process.  I don’t get crafty often.  I used to do it when I had exams during university.  Once I made a china doll (body, dress, hair, etc) all from scratch.   She was beautiful!  Another year I painted.  I can’t remember all my projects.  Well, I just finished the first draft of another Hyacinth installment, and I’m ready to switch gears.

So I am going to take a walk to the downtown of our little town, and check out the quilting shop.  I’m not sure what I’ll find… Will I be inspired?  Hard to tell!  But it’s always been a dream of mine to make a quilt.  So much heart goes into a quilt.  I think I might be ready to start on the process!

Crafting shops are wonderful.  You never know what you’ll find in a crafting shop!  Some people work out.  Some people shop.  Some people cook up a storm.  I don’t do it often, but when I need to expend some energy that my toddler hasn’t already sucked up and my brain refuses to convert it into a novel or editing…  well, I’m a person who crafts.

You know, when the stars align.

Abraham Heschel was a very influential Jewish thinker who wrote beautifully about the Sabbath.  I’ve always loved his description of the Sabbath as a palace in time.  The Sabbath comes every week, and it is up to us to make something beautiful of it.  We build the palace ourselves through our traditions.

Well, I am in a unique situation.  I believe in the Sabbath, but my needs as a young mom are changing.  It’s actually very nice, because I have the opportunity to look at things in a different way.  What do I want Sabbath to be?  What do I want my son to grow up with?

Ideally, when Jr gets older, I want us to volunteer in our community on Sabbath.  I want us to help people out, not just sit around eating.  However, he is still very little.  We are in the stage of tantrums and napping.  It’s a delicate balance, and taking him to a food bank or an old folks home isn’t really feasible.  Especially when going on foot.

So what will we do to make Sabbath special?  I really don’t know!  We had candles on Friday night, and I woke up this Saturday morning wondering how exactly to do this.  I want my son to learn that the Sabbath was made for humanity, not humanity to fill the Sabbath.  I want him to see that it is a special day he can look forward to.  I want him to learn that a sincere act to help someone else is an act of worship.  That will look different at every stage, but there has to be something for right now!

So I am thinking.  Traditions are built one step at a time, and we’re still at the foundation, sitting cross-legged on the concrete.

I have just endured the most humbling experience of my parenting life.  Let me put this in context.  Before I had a child, I knew it all.  I knew exactly how I would raise my little angel so that he would never, ever throw fits.  No, my little one would be well behaved, polite, sweet and intelligent.  When I saw kids kicking up a fit in Walmart, screaming their lungs out with a parent standing beside them, struggling to stay in control of their own, adult emotions, I was very judgmental.  Obviously, that parent had not done their job at home if their child was acting this way in public!

Well, I just received my payback.

My son was tormenting the dog.  Both of them were bored, and I decided to run an errand to the post office which is not that far away.  I was leaving the dog at home so that the poor pooch could rest unmolested, and I was taking the toddler in his sled to the post office.  Jr normally loves sled rides!  This was a good plan.

I didn’t get far, when Jr decided he wanted to ride in his sled sideways.  I’d put him back in the sled straight, and he’d flop out again.  At first I was annoyed, but then I thought, who cares?  If he wants to flop out of his sled sideways, what does it matter?  It’s slightly harder to pull the sled, but that’s ok.  So I let it go.

Well, when that didn’t get my attention, Jr started whining and fussing. I stopped to see if he wanted to walk.  No, he not only didn’t want to walk, he downright refused to walk.  Ok, so I put him back in the sled.

We arrived at the post office, I picked up my package, and we started back home.  Jr now decided that he didn’t want to ride, he didn’t want to walk, and the only thing that would suffice was being carried in arms.  Keep in mind, this child is a solid 35 lbs.  He’s officially too heavy to be packed around.  I’m not physically strong enough! So Jr cried piteously in the sled behind me, throwing his legs out of the sled to act like an anchor.  I was now in the suburban equivalent of “the middle of nowhere” and couldn’t have stopped to give him his way if I’d wanted to.  I needed to get us home before I could do much of anything.  So I plunged on.  Anyone watching me must have thought I was heartless and terrible!

When we finally reached the road, I took Jr out of the sled so he could walk across the street.  He couldn’t ride across the street, because the street was clean and the sled wouldn’t slide.  He seemed willing enough to walk until we got into the middle of the street and decided to throw himself to the ground, which left me with a package and a sled in one hand and a shrieking toddler being dragged along in the other.  When I got to the other side of the street, I put him down where he laid face down on the sidewalk wailing.  I picked him up.

Well, we had to cross one more time.

“Jr, you have to walk,” I told him.

Obviously, he didn’t believe me.  He threw himself back down to the ground again, and I had to drag him across the street once more.  When I put him down on the other side, he lay there on his back, wailing out the injustice of it all.  I picked him up and decided to try and carry him the rest of the way.

Well, he was good and worked up, so he hollered in my arms, too, all the way to our door, up the stairs, and to the door of our apartment.  People must have thought I was abusing this poor child!  I opened the door, brought him inside and let him holler for a few more minutes while I took off all of our jackets and put them away.  He was already in full tantrum, and I didn’t want him to be confused that he might be getting his way with a fit.   So after I had put away our coats, I picked him to give him a hug and calm him down.

I suppose he tired himself out with all of his shrieking and flopping, because he promptly fell asleep on my chest.  I put him into bed and sat down, rather stunned.

I can see that our precious little angels have a way of making us look like BEASTS in public!  Anyone watching who didn’t know my son, would think that I must have dragged him for five miles and then refused to pity the tiny, tired little soul.  The reality of the situation was that he hadn’t actually walked for more than 20 steps the entire way!

Holy cow!  I humbly apologize to every parent I have ever silently judged!

This is the time of year for good intentions.  I never resolve to exercise more.  I won’t do it, so really it’s best not to set myself up for failure.  In fact, I very rarely make resolutions at all!  Most of my goals I will keep in motion anyhow, so a New Year’s Resolution seems silly.  I mean, of course I’ll keep trying to put money into savings.  That just makes sense.  I was doing it before January 1, and I will continue doing it after January 1.  I also like to reserve the right to change my mind on things.  I’m not going to resolve to do anything for an entire year!  Flexibility is key.  However, despite my general resolution making laziness, I do have one resolution this year.

I resolve to get a Harlequin book published!

To be truthful, I have been trying towards this before January 1, and I will keep trying for it, even if I don’t manage to achieve it by New Year 2011.  So I’m not sure if this is a cop out resolution or not. Regardless, I really, really want to break into the romance market.  I want it so badly that I can taste it.  I want it so badly that I’m willing to write book after book and get rejection after rejection just for that one golden letter of acceptance.  I have no flexibility when it comes to this goal.  I want it.  I want it badly.

Does this count as a New Year’s Resolution?  I’m not sure, because the New Year doesn’t spark it or represent a beginning of anything.  The New Year came along and I just happened to be already chasing this goal.  So whether or not it’s a legitimate resolution, it’s there.

There is one thing I like to do at New Years…  I like to imagine what next New Year will be like.  Well, I’ll have a boy who is almost three, so likely he’ll be talking.  That’s a cool thought!  I can’t wait to hear what’s running through his head.  I’ll have spent a year in our new home, and likely we’ll have added a few more personal touches about the place.   I’m sure I’ll have another book out, which always brings me pride.  I’ll have been married for another year, too, which means that my husband and I will have another year of memories together.  Yes, it’s going to be a good year!

So Happy New Year to all of you!  I wish you only happiness, and if there are bumps, I wish you pillows.