When Mama ain’t happy

Today, my mom came for lunch.  I was so excited!  She’d come from Ontario, and I hadn’t seen her in a long time.  I was really looking forward to this visit, and I’d cooked and cleaned, eager to show off my new home.  Our first owned home!  Real milestone material here.

Well, last night I could barely sleep.  My husband came home late, so I was sleeping lightly waiting for him.  When he came home, the tot started to fuss, so I was up trying to keep him down.  Then when I tried to get some sleep of my own, I just laid there staring at the ceiling.  I normally don’t have trouble sleeping.  I don’t get enough sleep ever to make that a problem.  I’d also been skipping my afternoon beauty sleeps this last week.

What was so important during those two hours of Jr’s rest?  I was cleaning.  I had a new goal of keeping the house guest-ready.  It’s nice to have the bathroom always sparkling and the kitchen always neat and tidy.  It’s calming to have the toys picked up and the floor vacuumed.  Seriously, had a guest decided to pop in, they would have had a very pleasant visit in an orange-glo smelling home.  No guests popped by, of course, but I was ready.

Well, I was ready until our scheduled guests came.  By the time my mom came with my brother and niece, I was exhausted.  I was frazzled.  I was on my very last nerve when it came to my toddler grabbing things he knows he can’t have and throwing the gifts his Nana gave him.  So my mom, brother and baby niece hugged us goodbye and continued on their scheduled way, and I hadn’t had the energy to enjoy the visit at all.  Talk about frustrating!  I even forgot to ask what they thought of our new home.

I need rest, folks.  If Mama ain’t happy, ain’t noooooobody happy.    If Mama ain’t rested…. If Mama hasn’t had time to hear herself think lately…. If Mama hasn’t showered, eaten, taken the necessary time in front of the mirror to take care of those glaring things that make her think, “Holy cow, how long have I looked like this?”  If Mama has rings under her eyes, take warning!

This is going to sound old fashioned, so brace yourself.  Everyone needs a piece of Mama.  I used to be an avid feminist, but then I got married.  Now I’m a realistic feminist.  Men need us.  Men need us in ways that they don’t even know how to articulate.  They need us listen, to laugh at their jokes, to be rested enough to enjoy them after the baby is in bed.  They need those loving gestures.  They need us to be rested enough to let their little prickly moments slide.  When they don’t get nurtured, they get tossed off balance. Much like we do!

So Mama has a toddler who needs her constant attention.  She has her man who needs to not get lost in the shuffle.  She has books inside of her that need to be written.  She has a house that needs to be kept up, cooking that won’t do itself and basic grooming that can’t be ignored.  And after she’s taken care of everyone else, who takes care of Mama?

So I’m going to make an effort to take better care of myself.  I’m going to take that afternoon nap.  I’m going to take a few uninterrupted minutes to reconnect with the Divine every day.  I’m going to make sure I nurture myself, too.  Because once I’m drained, it’s not pretty!

I need rest.  I need a bath, not a hurried shower.  I need more than 2 hours of uninterrupted sleep.  I need afternoon naps.  I need more patience than I’ve got.  Probably not ever going to happen, I’ll settle for the naps.  They are realistically attainable.

When Mama ain’t happy…